The Real Losers: Music For Funsters LP
— Price: 139 SEK

The REAL LOSERS' second LP is undoubtedly the most appropriately-titled rock recording since the 1995 release of Michael Jackson's Cum On Feel The Boys 7". Every time I hear it, Music For Funsters takes me back a few years. I remember myself at the wheel of my crappy old Ford Tempo, the infectious lo-fi punk of Supercharger and TEENGENERATE blaring from the boombox seated on the passenger's side floor, yours truly speeding home in anticipation of licking pussy while listening to the Registrators. Now, as then, nothing beats super-catchy rock n' roll of the trashy variety. And England's REAL LOSERS are perhaps today's premier practitioners of that particular sound.Under no circumstances can I foresee a reasonable human being with even an iota of musical taste not liking the REAL LOSERS. If you told me you hated this band, I would have no choice but to surmise that you're the kind of person who eats dogs, sleeps with midgets, and poisons children's candy at Halloween. REAL LOSERS haters are the sorts of guys who like to pee on their girlfriends and boo Special Olympians. You can usually find them at home fiddling with their stereos' graphic equalizers.Like all the great garage/punk/rock n' roll longplayers, Music For Funsters radiates such unfettered adolescent enthusiasm and primitive ferocity that it seems like it could have been banged out in the basement by a bunch of wild-hearted teenagers who just learned to play yesterday. But like all the great garage/punk/rock n' roll longplayers, it complements such gloriously pubescent racket with irresistible tunefulness, inspired vocalizing, and deceptively formidable musical chops. You might hear this record and think you could start a band just as good. I wouldn't recommend it, old sport. Retarded two-chord trash of this high a caliber requires a special kind of genius. "Tear Me Apart" is in serious running for 2005 song-of-the-year honors! Music For Funsters was supposed to be the REAL LOSERS' "power pop" album. But while the songs here are indeed catchier than the clap, this ain't powerpop, brother. No no no no no no no no. This is exhilarating, supercharged rock n' roll: pure teenage punk in its rawest, coolest form. Turd-o-phonic production prevails. Dirty, fuzzed-out guitar flies off at a million miles an hour but somehow manages to hold onto its melodic quality. A ramshackle rhythm section keeps up just fine, exuding a crude, careening brilliance. Lead shouter C. Shake hollers with a right-on mix of crazykid oomph and goodtime 'tude. And the material is hot! Tunes like "Boy In A Chinese Shop" and the booty-shakin' opener "Look Real Sharp" achieve a simplistic greatness, while the group's extra-peppy cover of Devo's "Mongoloid" is just flat-out awesome. Yeah.Like the Japanese bands they emulate, the REAL LOSERS work under the influence of early Ramones albums and good ole' American rock n' roll, those primary ingredients spat back out with breakneck savagery and a complete disregard for the fine art of sound quality. Music for Funsters is an album to fuck to, an album to crank in your car when you're out driving with friends, an album to play real loud while you're alone in your room and feel like pissing off your house mates. Merry old England, once fertile ground for great punk rock, hasn't managed to produce a whole lot of decent rock n' roll in recent decades. Single-handedly, the REAL LOSERS have atoned for the sins of their countrymen. My only criticism:Let the drummer sing more backups!

-NOW WAVE MAGAZINE

(alien snatch)